Falling Pianos

All things that "strike a chord" in me.

Mr. Mouse, I have some ideas I’d like to discuss with you . . .

With Disney’s announcement of stand-alone movies focusing on individual characters from the Star Wars universe, I thought I would offer my opinion that no one of influence in the Disney offices will ever see or take note of.


When George Lucas created his galaxy far, far away, he created along with it a rich cast of characters. Han Solo, Yoda, Boba Fett, Chewbacca. Each of these names elicits a “squee” of joy from most fanboys at the thought of cinematically exploring their stories more in depth. (Well, Chewie had that Christmas special back in the day, but we do not speak of such things.)


Admittedly, I can see some of these going horribly wrong. Imagine a hyperspace buddy movie featuring Han Solo and Lando Calrissian starring Chris “Captain America” Evans and Chris “I talk loud for no reason” Rock. (That disturbance in the force you just felt was thousands of fanboys crying out in pain and protest.) I just pray they don’t take the Star Trek IV route and have Yoda travel to present day Earth and meet up with the Muppets.


These are all fairly major characters that figure prominently in the world of Star Wars. I think, however, that there are some 2nd and 3rd tier characters whose stories bear a closer look as well. So, in order to help the House of Mouse, I humbly offer these suggestions of other characters, barely seen in existing films, that need their own movies.


Greedo – The first time we see Greedo, he attempts to collect the bounty on Han Solo, only to be fried by Han’s blaster (and all true Jedi will always know that Han shot first). How, I often wonder, did Greedo become a bounty hunter? What series of circumstances took him from a small, scaly child in Tatooine to a mediocre bounty hunter in Jabba’s employ? What childhood trauma turned him to a life in the underworld?


Malakili – Who is Malakili, you ask? I had to look up the name, too. He was the Rancor trainer in Jabba’s palace, last seen weeping openly after Luke Skywalker killed the Rancor. This is the only appearance he has in the original trilogy, but there are so many unanswered questions. How does one become a Rancor trainer? How does one become so close to one as to weep at it’s death? Was he a Rancor whisperer?


Wedge Antilles and Rogue Squadron – There has already been a series of books on these heroes of the Rebellion that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Think a WWII air squadron type of movie, only set in space. This could easily become a new series unto itself, and could actually do very well. Rivalries and romances, all with a backdrop of exploding Death Stars. It’s a natural.


Wampa – OK, hear me out in this one. This could be a really good, really creepy movie set on Hoth, in the vein of John Carpenter’s The Thing. After the battle on the ice planet, The Rebellion moves on, but leaves a skeleton crew to maintain and repair the base. The wampas in captivity there escape and begin to systematically hunt and kill the crew one by one. And, John Carpenter and Kurt Russell could have cameos.


Now, I’m certain that Disney will never make these movies (although they did make The Haunted Mansion and Snow Dogs, so nothing is completely off the table). Let’s all just hope that they don’t screw up the ones they do have in the works.

OK, your turn.  What ancillary characters do you want to see on the big screen?  Who should be cast?  All comments welcome.


4 comments on “Mr. Mouse, I have some ideas I’d like to discuss with you . . .

  1. Jon
    February 7, 2013

    First of all, this was brilliant! I love all the witty asides. (Rancor Whisperer?…..Genius!) As far as other “ancillary” characters: here’s just a few: (some may tongue in cheek), Lobot, Jabba and Salacious Crumb, and how about Palpatine?. And, of course, Darth Maul!

  2. Kimberly Scott
    February 8, 2013

    Wedge Antilles is one of my favorites ever though, he didn’t even need the force to kick so much ass across the galaxy. Personally I’m torn on this, because there are some really awesome extended universe characters I’d love to see. Tenel Ka, Mara Jade, Celeste, The Theoretical Solo Children….But if we’re doing creature flicks, the Rancor because bonus, it comes from Dathomir.

  3. Pingback: The Marvelization of Star Wars « The L. Palmer Chronicles

  4. starwarsanon
    February 14, 2013

    I’ve heard other fans wanting to see more on Malakili too. I think it’s a great way to explore a minor character and different planets/lifestyles in the Star Wars universe without compromising what we already have.

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This entry was posted on February 7, 2013 by in fun, Geek, Movies and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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